Thursday, October 6, 2011

Baby Chloe

This is one story that always breaks my heart. I can't even imagine going through what Adam and Camille have gone through. They have shown great strentgh and love. I'm so grateful to know Camille. I'm not sure the circumstances that brought us together were ideal, but she is one amazing woman who has definitely made an impact on my life! Thank you so much for sharing Chloe with me!

My name is Camille, my husband is Adam. We got married on September 30, 2000… we decided to try to have children right away. It has always been my dream to be a mom, and I couldn’t wait! Unfortunately due to infertility, we were unable to get pregnant, despite a lot of testing, treatments and procedures.. everything failed and we were left with empty arms and broken hearts.

In October 2009, we received a phone call that changed our lives forever. We were given the chance to adopt a baby (due in February 2010). Of course we jumped at the opportunity. On December 18, 2009 we received the most amazing Christmas gift. It was an u/s picture of our baby GIRL!! They were so sweet to surprise us; I still say that was the best Christmas present EVER!

We were surprised in other ways too, this was the birth mom’s (BM’s) first u/s at 32 weeks and we found out that the baby had clubbed feet, as well as some other worrisome characteristics to her profile. The BM went back in to the specialist at 35 weeks, and we got called to the hospital. There was definitely something wrong with the baby, her hips were displaced and so her legs were laying flat against her body with her feet by her chin and she had clenched fists. At this time, the doctors weren’t sure how serious her condition would be but they were hoping it was just something muscle related and with physical therapy she would be great. We never waivered our love for this baby, nothing the doctors could have said would make us change our mind. She was OUR baby; we were already head over heels in love with her. But this news was shocking, after a lot of tears and tons of prayers we were back, strong as ever. Willing to do whatever we had to do, to make her life the best it could be.

Chloe was born at 37 weeks, on January 12, 2010, weighing in at 4 lbs, 6.5 oz. and as beautiful as can be! It was love at first sight… she made everything that we had gone through with our infertility, all of the tests, all of the treatments and procedures, all of the injections and drugs, and all of the tears that we shed, she made it all worth it! I would do everything over and over again just to see her, my precious baby girl. She was everything I have always dreamed of.

The first 2 days were absolutely bliss, mostly because the BM hadn’t signed over her rights and the doctors weren’t exactly telling us everything they knew. We knew that Chloe had problems with her legs and that her feet were clubbed and would probably need surgery. But her brain, her heart, and all of her other organs (though a tiny bit underdeveloped) were normal and functioning. What we didn’t know, that we found out on day three, was that Chloe was born with two severe muscle conditions. One condition effected her outside muscles (arms, legs, eyes, etc.), while the other one effected her inside muscles (her swallowing, breathing, etc.), and with both combined conditions she was now considered ‘incompatible with life’, she would never be able to breath without the help of a ventilator.

Chloe was such a strong little girl; she had such a fight for life. There wasn’t much we could do, but love her and that we did. On January 19, 2010, the BM finally signed over her rights and we got custody. We took the day celebrating our official day of being parents, as we knew the next day would be one of the hardest days of our lives, and it really was. On January 20, 2010, we turned off life support; Chloe took her last precious breath in my arms and the last beat of her tiny heart in her daddy’s arms. A piece of my heart stopped beating along with hers. I miss her so much, every single day. I don’t think our lives will ever be the same, I guess in some ways I don’t want it to be how it used to be. We are so blessed to have Chloe in our lives and as our eternal daughter, and we are so honored that we were chosen to be her parents.

The first time we got to see Chloe... which doesn't really count, because you can't see her. It was pure torture for the 45 minutes we waited out side of this window, to know OUR baby was finally here... after so long!!

This is my hand, the first time I saw her and touched her. I can NOT explain that feeling! Love at first sight, it took literally 10 seconds for me to fall head over hills, madly, hopelessly in love with her.

It's hard to choose favorites when it comes to pictures... because they are all so priceless... But this is one of my favorites.. I love seeing Adam’s big strong hands cradling here teeny tiny hand.

My brother gave the most amazing family prayer… after this, we sent the family out and Adam and I spent alone time holding Chloe, before we turned off the life support.

Adam and his princess... I love this picture. I love all the pictures with him and her together! He is the BEST dad...

The hospital gave us this hat... I LOVE it!!!! I kept the hat and keep it in her memory box. I am thankful to have it. Love this picture!!

Her coming home outfit...

Getting ready to say goodbye forever....

Me walking to meet the nurse to take Chloe... . Besides actually turning off the machines and not being able to do anything to save her as she laid dying in our arms. This was the HARDEST thing to do! I didn't want to let her go!!

Story provided by: Camille Millett


Cyndi said...

Camille's is one of the most amazing stories that I've heard. The perfect parents for sweet, beautiful Chloe!

Nurse Heidi said...

Ooooh, this one just breaks my heart :(. She's so beautiful!! I would be happy to retouch her skin tones in a couple photos if the parents would like.