Friday, May 14, 2010

Our week

This last week has been a basket of mixed emotions around here. Definitely bittersweet. When you conceive a child, it is the most beautiful thing imaginable. And then you get to feel it move within you, which is probably the most amazing thing I have ever felt. I love more than anything that I have 2 of God's children growing in my belly and that I get to be their mother. I never, ever thought I would be here. Last week we had our gender ultrasound, as you all know. There was an issue to raise some concern. We tried to deny the severity of it. It hurt too bad to think that our child could actually have a serious, life-threatening problem. Who wants to think that? We prayed our hearts out and cried, but we still found time to be excited to know we were having a boy and a girl. On Wednesday, we met with perinatology. Our deepest fears were becoming more and more of a reality. We spent 3 hours with the specialist undergoing hours of ultrasound. Our daughter is perfectly healthy, growing, and thriving. A parent's dream. Our son has some issues. You know it's bad when the doctor starts whispering to the ultrasound technician during your ultrasound and they start looking at more specific things. Then we had to switch rooms and do another ultrasound where the doctor pointed out his concerns and told us what he thought was going on. Again, our deepest fears were coming true. A reality we just don't want to face. We worked so hard for this child and now? Now what? You all know from a previously mentioned post that he has bladder problems. It seems to be quite a bit more severe than that now. Again, please keep us in your prayers. Our hearts ache. We had to undergo an amniocentesis to check the chromosomes of our little man for an answer as to what is going on. That was something I never wanted to do and I for sure never want to do it again. It was a very long needle going into a really tiny space, through walls of muscles. Yeah, it hurt. You moms know what contractions feel like. It hurts. I couldn't even watch. I was beyond afraid, not of the needle or them hurting my baby, but afraid of why we were doing this test and what the results will reveal.

All you moms out there, give you children extra hugs today. Realize what a miracle it is that they are here on this earth. Love them a little more than usual today.

6 comments:

Chris and Christina said...

I am so sorry to hear about your little boy. Our prayers are with you and hope that you can find answers with the amniocentesis, and hopefully you will never have to do that again as I have heard how awful that sounds.

From our Home to yours said...

OH Ash! My heart aches for and with you! I love you guys SO much and hope for the best out come. Turn to the lord during this time as he knows you guys more than the rest of us. Love and SO MANY prayers coming your way! Love ya!
Andi

Brande J. said...

Ashley...my prayers are with you guys at this time. My heart aches for you. I know all to well about those feelings you are feeling. Know that your Heavenly Father LOVES you guys and wouldn't give you a trial you couldn't handle. A million prayers coming your way.

Cheyenne said...

We love you guys so much! You all are in our prayers. I know this has got to be the hardest thing in the world, just know we are here for you.

Dari said...

I am so sorry you guys are having to go through this. Please let us know when you have any more info. We will definitely keep you guys in our prayers. I know the Lord is looking after your family in your time of need. Love you and let me know if you need to talk or get out of the house.

McGiven Family.... said...

I think about you every day. I will be praying for you and hoping your miracle boy is okay!