Thursday, August 12, 2010

Scarlet and Kingston

What a crazy week this has been! It all started Tuesday. I went in for my routine non-stress test and our little boy was having some crazy drops in his heart rate every time I would contract. The doctor's office decided they would just send me to labor and delivery for monitoring for a little while and see what was going on. I was with my mom and of course I was freaking out by this point. I stopped off on the 2nd floor to talk to Ryan and told him what was going on. His amazing co-workers pulled together so he could come upstairs with me to labor and delivery. Once I was all hooked up, things seemed just fine. Normal rhythms on both babies. I thought for sure I would be going home that afternoon. WRONG. When they checked me, I was 2 cm and 80% effaced. I actually didn't change that entire day, which was a good sign. Then the doctor came in and told me he wanted me to stay overnight so I could be watched a little while longer just to make sure things stayed the same.

Through the night I felt like I was having contractions but I couldn't really see much on the monitor. They had given me morphine so I was totally in and out all night long. I had told Ryan to go home and sleep and to just come pick me up in the morning. I was way off. The doctor came in Wednesday morning and checked me. A big surprise is what happened next. We found that I was 6 cm and 100% effaced. I had no idea I was dilating so quickly and was actually in full-blown labor. The doctor looked at me and said, "call your husband. You're having these babies today." I was in complete shock. It was almost instantly crazy. Nurses were everywhere and they had the epidural ordered before I could even grab the phone to call Ryan. I believe I may have called him as they were putting in my IV. It was a mad rush. I pretty much told him to get to the hospital as soon as he could. We were having these babies. I think it scared the crap out of him.

Ryan got to the hospital quite quickly and impressed everybody with his mad skills of quickedness. (that's a new word) I got my epidural right after Ryan got there, which by the way was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. It was actually quite amazing. After that, it was show time. They wheeled me off to the OR and got me all prepped and ready to go. All of a sudden I hear the doctor say, "Okay, we've made the skin incision." I had no idea they had even started. There was a lot of tugging and pulling and a bit of discomfort. Then, all of a sudden, out came our little Kingston. When I say little, I mean LITTLE. They showed him to me and it was almost scary how tiny he was. It wasn't moving at all and so that was a little scary too. Ryan went off with the baby and neonatologist to assess the situation. In the meantime, I was still being tugged and pulled and then out popped some legs, a bum, and then with a lot of pulling, out came a head! Little Scarlet was born. She looked beautiful. Apparently she started screaming immediately. I couldn't hear her. Just like that, it was all over.

Ryan and the neonatologist brought little Kingston to me and Ryan was crying. I could tell things weren't going well with him. They put my little boy close to my face so I could kiss him and tell him just how much I loved him. That's when he started making the sweetest noise in the world! He would just kind of grunt at us, but I'm pretty sure he was telling us just how much he loved us too. He was so perfect.

After I was all sewed up, they wheeled me back to my labor and delivery room and let me hold my little King for the first time. He was absolutely beautiful. My mom and dad and Ryan's mom were there to greet us and meet their grandson. They eaech took their turns holding him and then gave him back to me. I held him next to my heart until his spirit returned to our Heavenly Father. It was the most calming and peaceful feeling. I could just feel the angels among us. He lived for just over an hour, but touched many lives in that short period of time. We couldn't feel more blessed that he is our child.

I will post pics when I get the camera charger and the cord to download the pics. I was totally unprepared for all of this. For now, here are the stats:

Kingston Ryan
Born: 9:02 a.m. on 8/11/10
Weight: 2 lbs. 2 oz.
Length: 12 inches

Scarlet Soo
Born: 9:04 a.m. on 8/11/10
Weight: 3 lbs. 12 oz.
Length: 16.5 inches

Scarlet totally looked like an Amazon woman compared to Kingston. It was, and still is, hard to believe they were/are twins.

Scarlet is currently in the NICU and fighting hard. She has to be on the ventilator for now because it was just too much work trying to breathe on her own. Other than that, things seem to be going well with her. She is thriving and abosultely beautiful! Hopefully real soon I can get some pics of her on here. I still have yet to hold her. I cannot wait for that moment. I'm sure she'll be happy too since all I can do now is tickle her feet and I think it makes her really mad.


Dustin and Tricia Bunderson said...

What a whirlwind of a journey you two have been through. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Tami said...

I sent my congratulations, love and prayers. Thank you for sharing your experience. Can't wait to see pictures!

Tiffany said...

I have been thinking about you guys and wondering how things are going. We are praying for you guys and for your little girl. Love the names by the way! They're perfect.

Sandy said...

holy cow ash!!!! congratulations. Let me know what I can do for you! Can't wait to see the pictures and hear more about it from you!

Brande J. said...

I have been thinking a lot about you lately and how things are going. I can't stop crying. I'm so glad you were able to hold your little guy before he passed. I couldn't help cry when he said he was grunting at you. So sweet. I'll be praying for your sweet Scarlet. Can't wait to see pictures!

The Painter's said...

How amazing Ashley! You've been on my mind all week! So glad to hear the delivery went so smoothly! I'm so glad that you were able to spend that sweet time with little Kingston before he returned to his Father for his greater duties. You, Ryan and little Scarlet are in my prayers!

(BTW, quickedness...basically the best new word ever! Its like wicked quick...adding it to my vocabulary now :)

Monica said...

Congrats on your two sweet babies! I'm glad all went well for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Good luck with everything!

Dari said...

Ash I can't believe how quick and crazy the last couple of days have been for you. Please know that you guys are in our prayers. I am so glad that you were able to have such a special experience with Kingston. What a precious little man. I can't wait to see pics and meet baby Scarlet! Call or text me to let me know when a good time to visit would be. I love you guys so much!

P.S. I can bring cupcakes or whatever your little heart desires!

McGiven Family.... said...

You are amazing! I am glad things went well and that you were able to enjoy your precious little boy if only for a little while. I love their names...they are perfect! The NICU is an amazing place. I know Scarlet is getting the best care. Hang in there!

michelle said...

Yes, you guys are truly truly amazing, so glad you posted this story. Oh my heart :-) Loves to you both.

savage said...

Ashley and Ryan...
My friend Brenda and I read your blog today at lunch and were bawling as we ate our Paradise sandwiches. Thank you for sharing with us. We both wanted to let you guys know you're in our prayers and thoughts.

Jen Bird said...

I now officially am all teary eyed!! Your story is so beautiful!! We're thinking of you both and those sweet babies!! Hope to come and see you guys sometime!

The Johnson's said...

Ashley, I am so grateful, thankful and happy that you felt peace during Kingston's short life. You are an amazingly strong woman to have endured that, something which I could not do. He will always be with you! I pray that Scarlet with grow fast and strong. I know you will love her with every inch of your being, it's in the nature of those who lose a child. Congrats a millions times. Many many prayers your way!

Mallory Johnson

Molly said...

Oh Ashley I am so glad you got to spend time with Kingston how special! Your family is in our prayers we hope you are all doing well and can feel comforted at this time. I'm so happy Scarlet is doing well I can't wait to see her! Text me or call me and let me know when a good time would be to come visit you. Like Dari said I can bring you a treat or something if you would like! Now that you can eat sugar again :) I was thinking we could come friday or saturday let me know if either of those days work. If you would rather have us wait until you get home let me know that too. Love ya tons. Congratulations. So I have tommorrow off and was going to call and see if you wanted to go sit in the pool ;) but then I saw josh's post on facebook! I was going to come last week but it was raining. :(

Terri and Steve said...

Ashley, I only know you from IM'ing at work but your blog had me in tears. What an amazing person you are. Bless your little family. Terri Soelberg

Neysa said...

WOW Ash...I am in MAJOR tears right now and can hardly even type. It's giving me a flash back of Shanna's little boy other then he was with her for 8 months. Glad you at least got to see your precious Kingston for an hour. My thoughts and prayers are with you guys at this hard time in your life. Glad your little girl is ok. She will tuff it out. She is TINY TINY. Livy was 17 in. long and 4 pounds 6 ounces. Thinking of you Ash.

jodu said...

Well written sis. King will always be with you. He was so precious and beautiful. His brief moments on earth touched so many people and made us better. You and Ryan are so blessed to have this opportunity. Thanks for letting all of us be part of this experience with you. You and Ryan are my heroes. Thanks for showing me that loves exists and for persevering what has been a long road to get Scarlet and Kingston here. You are amazing!

Chris and Christina said...

I had no idea that the big day had come and gone! Congratulations. Those two babies love you more than anything and I'm so glad that you were able to spend what I can only imagine as a perfect and yet rollercoaster of an hour with Kingston (great names by the way!!). And Scarlet..... she's gonna be tough and so so smart like her parents. Congratulations. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Rachelle Carling said...

Oh Ashley... WOW, what an amazing experience! I can only imagine how sweet it was for you to finally meet your babies face to face. Its incredible the LOVE you instantly have. Mr. Kingston was definitely perfect! The video made me realize how precious time is with your babies and for that.... thank you!

I hope Scarlet continues to get more strength and is able to leave the machines behind! You all are definitely in my prayers! Good luck with your recovery and with your sweet little family!

P.S. I second Raquel, "Quickedness" is rad!

Jaime Williams said...

I tried to comment on the video above but it would let me for some reason. I'm sitting her in tears just as I expect everyone else who reads this will be. I can't even say what I feel... happiness and sadness at the same time. What an amazing miracle.

Stutz Family said...

Ashley, I am amazed at how strong you have been throughout this entire process. I don't know that I would have handled things as well. I can't wait to meet him, he has already touched so many lives. Give Scarlet and Ryan big loves. You are going to LOVE being a mommy, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world! LOVE YOU!

Kim said...

What a beautiful little family you have.
That little video of Kingston...he is so perfect and so calm and seems so wise. What a blessing he is to you in your lives...
Little Scarlett is so sweet. She has been given some very wonderful and strong parents.
Congrats you two, I am sorry for your loss...but you are also very lucky to have a sweet angel baby to watch over his little sister.
(p.s. I am Ryans old neighbor growing know my crazy family...the Petersons...anyway, I have enjoyed watching your story, and feeling of your testimony and strength. Thank you so much for bringing us all on your journey with you...and I can't wait to see what your future holds with sweet little Scarlett.)

Heidi and Michael said...

What a journey hun. Goodness sakes. You are such a trooper! SERIOUSLY!!!!!!! I can't believe how strong you and Ryan are. What amazing parents you are! SO, SO, SO happy that Scarlett is doing so well! I hope you are feeling well too. PLEASE let me know if you need ANYTHING. My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you and your darling family.

Anonymous said...

She holds them both
In the guardianship of her arms,
One in the left and one in the right,
One hears the comfort of her breath,
And the other one, the familiar cadence of her heart
But they both feel love

And she knows
One she may keep,
But one must return

Inside her swollen heart dwell fear, peace,
grief, grattitude, pain,
happiness, trepidation, awe
But above all, Love

So, with one gently cradled in the bend of her arm,
She offers the other
To Him
Who wipes her tears
And strengthens her shoulders
And takes one back,
But promises
Another time

And not comprehending, but trusting,
She promises, too.
Then quietly,
Holds the one close
And rejoices

~Kim Rollins